Dingus Department: If you like the sound of your own voice-sing! But please don't join a non-profit board.

Ah, non-profit boards of directors. Have you sat on one? Worked for one? Thinking about sitting on one? I've sat on a number of national boards in my time, and I worked for them for nearly thirty years. Those experiences will undoubtedly be the subjects of posts yet to come, but for now I'll ease you into the world of boredom as I see it.

Why are there boards of directors, what do they do and how do you get on one?

Before embarking on this journey through drudgery, I want to make a significant distinction.

Many non-profits are dependent on volunteers to do much of the work of the organization. These people often put their hearts, time and money into their missions. Most of them could care less about being on a board, but out of legal necessity, they agree to serve so the organization can formally accept donations or grants. These people are quite often angels sent to humiliate the rest of us on earth. These types of boards, working boards, are given a very long hall pass out of this conversation.

So, aside from the aforementioned angels, why are there boards of directors?

For non profits, there are significant legal reasons they exist, largely having to do with guarding the public trust (e.g., public donations). At a minimum, boards are there to guard the dough, make sure no one's hand is in the till, ensure that audits occur and hire and fire the Executive Director. So, think about that job. Why in God's name would anyone want to volunteer their precious time in such a profoundly uninteresting way? Are you thinking about it? Consider this....

If you're thinking about sitting on a board because you want to be affiliated with a cause you care about, instead, get your nerve up and just volunteer directly. It'll be more fun, meaningful and truly helpful. None of those experiences are gained on a board. Don't sit on the local animal cruelty organization's board, ask to walk the shelter dogs.

If you're thinking about joining a board because you have some skill you can offer, unless your skill is printing money, your skills are probably not needed. That's what the staff are for. If you actually do have a specific skill that the organization would otherwise have to pay for, give it to them gladly and consider it a humble donation. Don't make them bring you on their board to benefit from this gift.

If you're thinking about joining a board because you and/or your chums have money, only consider joining if you plan on giving the organization significant amounts of it. If you think you'll be helpful to the organization because of your savvy business acumen, think again. Here's why--

1. No matter what your recruiter told you, they want your money.

2. Having money does not equal smart. Talk to a single parent on minimum wage and ask her how she provides shelter, food and clothes for her family. There's business acumen.

3. You may believe that you have all that money because you are the master of your destiny. Thus, as a result of all your right decisions you ended up with some well earned cash. Logically then, you must also believe that the subjects of your charity are also the masters of their destiny and thereby ended up getting raped, abused, homeless, poor, or illiterate because they didn't get it right. That belief, while a nice fairytale if it has a happy ending, is a Brothers Grimm story for others. Best to swim in your own happy pond of illusion than impose it on organizations that are truly trying to help those that destiny left behind.

Now you're probably wondering if there are any good reasons to join a board. Yes, there are.

You have money and want to make regular, sizable and mostly unrestricted donations because of your faith in the mission and the manner in which it gets carried out.

You are well connected and excited about using those connections to help the organization further it's goals.

Your best friend works for a non-profit organization (for minor friends-think hard!)and needs you to serve for a short period of time so they can meet their legal requirements.

So if you're still thinking about it after all this, before submitting your application, ask the organization what they truly and honestly need. If you truly and honestly can give it or get it for them-you will indeed be a blessing.